My Great Resignation Story Pt. 1
When you feel it’s time to go, move. The pandemic was a reality check for many people, myself included, as we began to assess the quality of our lives,and the way we desire to live. Amid the pandemic, while many workers across industries lost their jobs, various outlets reported how the pandemic has triggered an uptick in voluntary resignation as employees reassess their work-to-life balance. In August 2021, 4 million people decided to quit their jobs. One report revealed the flood of employees resigning has little to do with money. Instead, most people are leaving their positions simply because of the work environment.
Media: GIPHY
In my journey early in the pandemic, I contemplated quitting my job, but I decided against it. I was in survival mode sticking around to make ends meet. My jobs became a means to an end and I was worried that, if I were to quit sooner than an opportunity became available, it would be a recipe for disaster. It became more apparent that I should leave after two traumatic events I endured in November 2020. If I’m honest, I knew early on that I would leave this position based on the toxic environment I experienced within my first two months of starting my new role. I had no idea I would be working in this position for damn near two years. Yet, I made it. Here are my thoughts on the experiences that ultimately led me to resign in July 2021.
When working in government, is very much an unconventional job, especially if one serves working in the legislature. In my role, I served as an analyst. I discovered exciting pieces of legislation and produced impactful research, which helped to influence new legislation. In addition, I learned the good, the bad, and the ugly of politics. Sides that made me recognize this was no longer a place I desired to work. Here’s what ultimately led to that decision:
The work-to-life balance was nonexistent.
When I first began working in the legislature, I had no idea about the long work hours. Serving as a central staffer, you’re committing a majority of your time to working life to working six busy months out of the year. In my role there were absolutely no approved vacations, and as you essentially serve being on call evening during the weekends. In addition to this, some of the subjects you work on can be taxing to your mental health. While this job helped me become a better writer, the lack of a work-life balance destroyed my well-being. While there would be days (very few I might add) where I would have no assignments to complete, other days, I would be required to work on weekends and sometimes on major holidays.
While most employees would enjoy time at the end of the year, when there was free time to explore; I felt like this time restraint was not sufficient enough for my social interests. I missed more of my life than actually enjoying it. I felt limited and trapped. I knew the culture of the work environment wasn’t going to change. When you work in this environment, the typical line you hear is, “this is the line of work we chose.” From my experience, it’s an unconventional place compared to any other job I’ve held in my lifetime.
Throughout my time working, therapy became my haven. In my therapy sessions, I unpacked; why did I feel robbed of my peace? Why did I️ refuse to walk away from a job that was negatively affecting my health? Even, my loved ones were concerned about why I could not push back and offer feedback to leadership. I didn’t make suggestions out of my means to survive. Sometimes you feel like you have to do things or are afraid to push back because you need a paycheck to sustain your livelihood.
In my experience, I’ve recognized that even when I felt I couldn’t push back to the fullest extent, I made it my mission to take mental health days, and at times I spoke up when things didn’t necessarily feel right.
I was very cautious of the type of conversations I would have within this role. However, as I reflect on this journey, I recognize I never desired another chapter in my life where my life by work, especially not in a place that feels unsafe. In this role I lost a grasp on the world around me.
Leadership viewed employees as disposable workers.
It’s one thing to create a culture where your employees recognize how their work aligns with the organization’s mission. It’s another thing to create a culture where people have fear instilled in them, to the point where they are constantly thinking about their livelihoods and how nobody is above being fired.
I think two truths can exist simultaneously, that as employees, you are doing the work of an organization, and you must be able to fulfill your duties to keep that engine moving. And suppose you don’t do an excellent job in that case; some repercussions may exist. However, constantly reminding people that they are disposable and continuously creating an unsafe space for employees is entirely unacceptable.
November 2020 (Part 1).
Throughout November 2020, I found myself dealing with two traumatic experiences. The first one I experienced began as I was completing voluntold work, campaigning on election day for a Senator candidate in the rural part of Albany, where I was located at the time. Voluntold work for those unfamiliar are assignments posed for employees to attend “voluntarily,” but low-key, it’s a requirement for workers to participate. I had many fears about being outside during the 2020 Election Day, given the climate and violent lengths Trump supporters were already displaying to demand Trump’s stay as President in office. I understood it was no place for my Black ass to be outside, but sometimes we do things against our intuition for survival.
During my assignment, I faced aggression from white locals who displayed heightened scare tactics, from those supporting the opposite party or despised the candidate I represented while canvassing. There was one moment in particular that took the cake for me. I was explicitly told, “this is MAGA country nigger, and you don’t belong here.” That statement came from a white man driving a cargo van decked out in Trump and Pence flags, who damn near ran me off the side of the road. I knew after that moment; it was time for me to tf go home.
The entire day was a traumatic experience. I did not appreciate how my situation was handled when I reported safety complaints to my candidates campaign camp. The camp didn’t appropriately respond to my concerns. Nor did they not show genuine care for my well-being and their other Black and brown volunteers, who also were targeted and made complaints that day. The campaign camp should have taken more precautions to support those ekefti.
November 2020 (Part 2).
Following Election Day, employees were deployed to different parts of the state, volunteering for absentee ballot paper counting and senate races. In addition, we received training on ballot objections and how to cure a ballot. From there, volunteers were assigned and stationed at various Boards of Elections across the state. The process was not seamless, and transportation assignments were an absolute headache. Sometimes leadership informed us late in the evening our county assignments for the following day. Think 11:00 p.m. Lastly, we had to front the costs of travel and lodging. Through my experience, I traveled to Rockland and Onondaga County, and although there were two other counties, I thank god I didn’t have to participant in those assignments.
Sadly, the week I was volunteering in Onondaga, I was exposed to COVID-19. Can we say this is a horror story? I ended this November stressed, triggered, and depressed as hell. Additionally, I was unable to share Thanksgiving with my family because I was quarantining. While my results ultimately were negative, I found myself dealing with another medical emergency non-covid related at the end of the month. Although, while I learned another side of the civics process, my overall experience disrupted my peace to the point of no return.
When I️ reflect on my experience as an employee, many things that occurred in my work setting did not sit right with my spirit. It made me recognize, why it was important to leave my role.
I began reflecting on what I wanted out a work environment, how I desired to live my life and the way this work environment no longer served me.
I began feeling that that I️ deserve fluidity, the type that allows me to move and flow free—the kind of fluidity that will enable me to be a part of spaces that nurtures my overall wellness. So I️ began to formulate an exit plan.
Stay tuned for more of my thoughts on the my great resignation story pt. 2